Modern*Simplicity

Creating a Life Free From Chaos

Change Your Language, Change Your Life

Every day, we each have things to do we don’t necessarily want to do. We use what I like to call “obligation language” to talk about these things. We’ll say things like:

  • I have to clean the bathroom.
  • I should write a blog post.
  • I need to write those thank you notes.

We make it sound like we don’t have a choice — we’re obligated to do these things, when in reality, we don’t. We get mired down in a victim mindset, believing we have to do these things we don’t want to do.

But is that true? Do you really HAVE to do those things? You’re an adult. You really don’t have to do most of the things you think you must do.

  • You don’t have to clean the bathroom, but it sure it a lot nicer when you do.
  • You don’t have to write a blog post, but if you want to grow your audience and someday be a full-time writer, then you probably want to write to increase your blog traffic.
  • You don’t have to write those thank you notes, but if you were the recipient of a gift or kindness, then showing gratitude is healthy and joyful for both you and the gift-giver.

We have a choice each day how we spend our time. If we want the results, we want to do what it takes to get those results. Own those choices, so you can own the results too.

  • I want to do laundry today, so my favorite jeans will be clean.
  • I want to pay bills, so I don’t get stuck with a late fee.
  • I want to cook dinner tonight, so I can save money and eat healthier.
  • I want to go to bed early, so I’ll feel rested tomorrow.
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When you find yourself using obligation language — should, have to, need — remind yourself that you have a choice. Be a creator, not a victim, and own the choices you make each day. Changing your language can change your world view, which can change your life.

Have you read my free ebook, 101 Ways to Simplify Your Life? Get it here!

How Following Your Curiosity Can Help You Find Your Calling

This a guest post by James Prescott

Some people find their callings through deep soul searching and reflection. Others find them methodically and clinically.

I found one of my principle callings by accident. Maybe, because as Liz Gilbert once advised all creative people, I followed my curiosity.

(And by the way, I say ‘one of’ my callings – plural – because I don’t believe we have just one calling, or even one type of calling. But that’s a whole different blog post).

In about 2014, I’d been blogging nearly a decade, I’d written four e-books, and my first book was completed and on the road to being published (that book, Mosaic Of Grace, released last month). I’d gotten a lot of expertise and experience in blogging, in writing, and had written extensively about how I found my voice, and lessons I’d learned.

I was sharing these posts in many writers groups and building good friendships. Then someone came to me one day and asked me if I’d help them with their writing. We had a chat, and they told me they wanted coaching. They had an idea for a blog, and they wanted my help to find their voice.

They even offered to pay me for this coaching.

Now, at this point, coaching writers wasn’t even on my radar. It hadn’t even occurred to me. I didn’t consider myself an expert, I’d not gotten hundreds of thousands of subscribers on my e-mail list or — back then — a book contract. Who was I to coach other writers? But this person was a friend, further behind on the path than me — so I figured I’d help them out.

I had no idea how I would approach this. I had no coaching program at the time, and this was unexpected. But I wanted to do this well, be professional, and honour my friend and the commitment of time they had made.

But the biggest reason I chose to follow this was pure curiosity. This opportunity had sparked my interest, and I was curious as to where it would lead. Writing had been ‘my thing’ since childhood, I’d grown up with a gift for writing. Coaching was new to me. It was unexpected. And the idea of it began to grow on me. I got excited about it. I’d always loved encouraging others, now I was going to be able to do it in a focussed way.

So I came up with a set of basic principles, ideas for different sessions, tasks I’d set — trying to work with my friend, not simply for them. Trying to keep it informal and friendly, but professional. And by the time it came for the first call, I was ready and eager to go.

And the core lesson I began with, was one which had already had a huge impact on me. It was to begin not with what we do — but with who we are. To begin with the basic truth that we’re enough, we’re lovable, and have infinite value as we are, not because of what we do. Because I have learned the action, the actual doing, the nuts and bolts of calling, must wait until we believe we’re enough as we are — before that even begins.

This process had already changed my life. And when my friend took this on board, I literally saw them change overnight. They suddenly felt free to explore different callings, to be curious — as I had been curious about exploring coaching — and take risks. Without their security and identity resting in what they did, they felt free to fail. There wasn’t so much hanging on each decision, so they could dare to dream, dare to act.

By the end of the process, they ditched the ideas they had began with — to begin a personal blog — and moved in a whole different direction, towards one of their core passions — helping new mothers, launching a doula business with a blog. From the very beginning, this has been a passion of theirs — they’d just never seen it as a calling and had been afraid to explore it. And this blog and business my friend started are growing and thriving to this day.

I can’t put into words the buzz, the excitement and joy this brought me. And I’d gotten no payment, and it wasn’t just because they were a friend. It was doing this work with people and seeing their lives changed for the better, finding their true voice and calling, living the life they were made for, finally seeing in themselves what I and others had maybe seen all along. It made me feel alive.

And so, in. the midst of helping my friend find one of their core callings, I’d found one of mine too.

I’d already had other writers and coaches come to me privately and tell me this was something I had to do — many of whom had no idea I’d been coaching someone privately. And more recently, after my book released, I’ve had authors trying to find clarity in finding their voice, whether it be in launching a blog or writing a book.

And here I am, now, stepping out into my own calling. Launching a business coaching writers, helping their find their true voice, tell their unique story and explore their creative passion. I’m only at the beginning of this journey, but I know it’s something I’m born for.

And how did this happen?

I followed my curiosity. And I dared to risk failure.

It’s that simple. If you’ve been searching around for your calling, my advice would be to keep your eyes open, and follow your curiosity. Ask yourself what you’d do if money were no object. Dare to risk failure.

Because it might be that your biggest calling might be right under your nose, just waiting to be explored. And yes, you might fail, but it’s worth the risk — because even in that failure you might find something even better emerges. Today, have the courage to ask yourself these two questions?

What opportunities, interests, gifts, am I curious about?

Am I willing to risk failure to find my calling?

Listen to the answers and take action. I guarantee, whatever the outcome, it will change your life forever.

James Prescott is a writer, blogger, podcaster, writing coach, and bestselling author of ‘Mosaic Of Grace: God’s Beautiful Reshaping Of Our Broken Lives’, available on Amazon here. He hosts the weekly ‘Poema Podcast’, and you can read his blog, get free e-books, and find out more about his books and writing coaching at www.jamesprescott.co.uk. and join his online writers community here. You can find him on Facebook and also follow him on Twitter and Instagram.